1) Caution: This lead-based sculpture is extremely toxic and for display only.

2) Shoot for the moon! If you miss, you will still hit an innocent bystander.

3) Trust your intuition: Everyone does hate you.

4) Tomorrow is another day. We hope it is your last.

5) Your micro-phallus brings joy to no one.

6) Thank you for your continued patronage of Al-Qaeda!

7) How's that chlamydia workin' out for you?