Q: I was out a club last night and I met this unbelievably attractive girl. We talked (as much as you can talk in a loud nightclub), we danced, we flirted and, at the end of the night, I asked for and got her number. I'm wondering now, how long should I wait to call? Will she think I'm a loser if I call her right away? Do I have to wait a certain number of days like I've heard from other guys? I really thought she was amazing and want to see her again. What should I do?

A: Ah, the age-old question of when to call. I suppose it's really not age-old since telephones haven't been around that long in the grand scheme of things, but nevertheless, I couldn't possibly count the number of times this question is pondered daily by both men and women everywhere. What's the big deal? Call her. If you want to call her, call her. What have you got to lose? If she's into you, then she'll be thrilled. If she's not, then don't expect her to pick up or return your phone call.

Fact is, if she's as hot as you say she is, she does have a lot of options out there. You're surely not the first man she's ever given her number to. But don't despair, dear hopeful lover! If you truly did spend the entire evening with her, chances are she liked you. It's easy enough for a girl in a nightclub to disappear if she doesn't want to be around someone; it's dark, she's come with friends who really "need her" to come to the bathroom with them, she can pretend to be too drunk to realize that she's wandering off, she can feign illness.... Believe me, I've used them all and they all work flawlessly to get you away from the creepy guy who's pressing drinks in your hand like they're giving them away for free.

So put on your big boy pants, pick up the phone and be honest - you really enjoyed her company and would love to make a plan to get together again. Then take her to dinner with candlelight and see if you have more in common than just an affinity for hip swiveling.

Q: OK, So I got caught checking out porn by my girlfriend. It was late, she had fallen asleep and I was bored so I snuck out of the bedroom and hopped online. I'm clicking through my usual sites when I hear her gasp behind me. Before I could even think of what to say, she ran and locked herself in the bedroom and I could hear her crying. Then she stormed out with some of her stuff and left. What do I do? Help!

A: Let her go, man, she's obviously crazy and uptight. She's holding you back from peeking at all those amazing double DD's. Ha, ha, just kidding! I get the impression you don't feel like you did anything wrong. Not that you should feel that way at all. If you're cool with porn, then that's all that matters. Your love of graphic sex isn't hurting anybody... oh wait, maybe it did!

Here's the deal, you like porn and she, quite clearly, doesn't. This definitely needs to be addressed but I'm sure that's not why you're writing. You must want to know what to say, yeah? Well, I can't tell you that. Not entirely anyway, since her problem with porn could stem from lots of experiences or beliefs. Maybe you need to ask yourself first what it is you like about porn? I'm assuming that you have no intention of giving up your viewing of pornography? So just go talk to her. Figure out why she freaked out like that, share your ideas about porn and why you look at it and, if she's unforgiving and doesn't care to understand your point of view on the subject then, hey, I'll be willing to bet this wouldn't be the only subject you would find no sympathy from her on.

Q: I have never had a girlfriend. What could be wrong with me? I've been on dates and some of them led to more than one date but none of them ever turned into girlfriends. I'm not a virgin or anything and I do have friends so I know I can't be that bad. I guess you could say I'm sort of attractive. I hold down a good job but it's nothing exciting. I try to listen and talk to girls on dates. What am I doing wrong?

A: "Sort of attractive"? "Nothing exciting"? I think it's pretty obvious that you think you're nothing special so how could anyone else think you're something special?
I have personally seen very, very unattractive men pick up fantastic women and it's not always because he's got money or power or whatever. Sometimes it's just that he's got confidence that's undeniable. So how did he get that way?

First off, let's get over the stupid idea that we should be humble about ourselves. Don't be afraid to get a little cocky! We think it's hot! Make a list of good things about yourself and I don't even care if you list something like you've got a cool freckle in the shape of an elephant. As far as I'm concerned, if you think that freckle is awesome, then it is! DO NOT, under any circumstances, list anything that you think is bad about yourself. The point of this list is to forget about your flaws because, let's be honest, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has flaws. You think that girl you're sitting across from at dinner doesn't have a list of things she hates about herself? She does, believe me, and it's probably longer than the list you could make of all the things you think are your flaws. So make your "good stuff about you" list, hang it on your bathroom mirror, in your car, at your desk, on your refrigerator and really spend some time thinking about what's great about you. Do it everyday for the rest of your life. No one's going to think you're amazing unless you think you're amazing.

Secondly, if you think your life is boring then, gosh, maybe you need to spice it up a little! If you're bored, then women will be bored too. Heck, it's as simple as asking yourself what you like to do! A man who's taking part in life; whether it be playing in a sports league, taking classes outside of work, attending seminars he finds interesting, reading up on a subject he loves, or any number of activities, is far more fascinating than a man who goes to his job without any passion for it whatsoever and goes home with no plan to engage himself any further in the business of life. We women do not, on the whole, care what it is that you're passionate about. We just want to see that you're stoked about something, anything, in life. And I can almost guarantee that, one day, you will meet a girl who shares your passion, whatever it may be, and that's the one you want to keep around. But you've got to find your interest first! Good luck! 

Q: I have a problem. My girl is spoiled rotten. She turns up her nose at the idea of going to any restaurant that's less than four stars, any gift I give her has to be something like a designer handbag or jewelry from Tiffany's or Cartier, we can only go to a club if we're able to get on the VIP list, she's embarrassed by my car (I drive a VW Passat and like it) and she thinks I need to move to her area of town because she hates that I live in what she calls the ghetto. Don't get me wrong, she's beautiful, smart, she makes me laugh and we have a good time together. I don't want to break up with her. How can I get her to see that I'm going broke buying her all this stuff and that I really hate how much she cares about labels and all that?

A: You know, I find it interesting that there are some men (and women) who, when they find someone that's willing to engage in a relationship with them, then proceed to hold onto that relationship for dear life, come hell or high water, as the saying goes. You haven't stupidly married this girl, thank God, so you have the luxury of reconsidering the situation. I'm sure she's pretty and smart and funny and blah, blah, blah, but so are a lot of other girls! And many of those other girls wouldn't drain your bank account or make you feel bad about the car you drive or the town you live in! I don't want to beat around the bush. She sounds about as appealing as being dragged behind your beloved Passat in the rain while Fergie whines about how her humps made you spend all your money on her. Basically this girl is drowning you in debt and forcing you to partake in mindless consumerism, which doesn't seem to be quite your preferred modus operandi. Give the girl her freedom since she seems to want someone who's happy to act as her personal ATM and you will gain the chance to find a pretty, smart woman who makes you laugh and who loves your VW as much as you do!