It was the type of Saturday afternoon that only the months of summer could provide. The laughter of small children filled the air and mixed with the musical melody provided by the robins and blue jays that were nesting in the trees. The sweet smell of flowers in bloom permeated Anna’s nostrils as she stooped over her rose bush and carefully trimmed the dead leaves away. She was so passionate with her gardening that her focus never wavered as the shadow of a large man uneasily crept toward her and her bush.

“Hey, you got any bugs?”

            Startled by this unexpected communication, Anna fell backward onto the ground and bruised her rump in the process. As she raised her hand over her eyes to get a better look at this tall, slightly heavy-set and oafish man, she couldn’t help but notice the dozens of small stars on the left side of his exterminator garb. Above the stars was the name of the company he worked for: Roach Poacher Inc..

            “Who are you?” she asked indignantly.

            “I’m the bug guy. My name’s Jester, the pest-ers worst nightmare.” He paused during this latter part in some feeble attempt at joviality. It was obvious that he had used this line many times before, and his quirky smile made it evident that he still thought it was as funny now as the day he had come up with it.

            “I don’t think I have any bugs.”

            “I can take a look. If you’re not happy with the service you can get your bugs back, no questions asked.”

            “How much does it cost?” Anna asked suspiciously.

            “Just twenty dollars to give you a bug-free report, but if I find any bugs I’ll kill them all for a one-hundred dollar flat fee.”

             Anna looked around, half-expecting to find a camera hidden among the leaves of the large oak tree in her front yard. If it wasn’t for the large statuesque bug on the top of Jester’s truck parked along the street, she would’ve thought it was just another stupid prank that her friends were always pulling on her.

            “So,” Anna began with a wry smile, “you’re telling me that if you find a million bugs on my property you’ll kill them all for only a hundred dollars?”

            “That’s right. It’s my job as the number one bug guy in Saskatoon to rid you of your bugs.”

            “Ok, I guess that’s a good deal.”

            “You’ve made a smart decision and won’t regret it. I’ll get my tools out of my truck and get started right away.”

            Anna was fixated on Jester as he went about his terminating duties. It wasn’t that she was attracted to him, truth be told she was a little disgusted by him, but the manner in which he went about his job was addicting to watch. He would pick up a leaf and sniff it, and then the next moment he’d dive onto the ground and cover pinecones with his belly as if they were live grenades. His ritual was more than a little unorthodox, but being that he was the number one terminator in Saskatoon, Anna didn’t seem to mind.

            “Even if he doesn’t find a bug,” Anna thought to herself, “I’ll get my twenty-dollars worth in entertainment value alone.”

            She was just about finished watering her plants when Jester strolled over toward her with a pinecone in each hand.

            “You know,” he began, “these would make for great backscratchers if you tied a stick to them. Could be a profitable little side business for you.”

            As much as she tried to hold back her laughter, a slight giggle escaped her mouth. “Sorry,” she apologized, “I have a slight tickle in my throat.”

            “I love tickling,” he said with a disturbed twinkle in his eye. After pausing for a moment to see if there would be any flirtatious banter from Anna, he changed back to a more professional persona. “I didn’t find any bugs in the front yard, but I’ll have to check under the house. Can you point me in the direction of the crawl space?”

            Anna pointed toward the back of the house and said, “It’s back there.”

            “Ok, I’ll be back in a jiffy with your bug report then.”

            “I’m going to go inside and wash up, so just knock on the front door when you’re done.”

            Jester made his way to the back of the house, but his mind was not thinking about the thousands of different types of insects living in the world, as it usually was. His mind kept thinking about what Anna might have meant with “wash up.”

            “Maybe,” he thought, “she has room for two in the shower. I saw the way she was looking at me when I was checking the pinecones and she’s obviously into me.”