1) No beer. Seriously. None.

2) Buttermilk, headcheese, bull testicles...and that's the good stuff!

3) A variety of ED treatments, memory enhancers, and prescription laxatives--all with your name on them.

4) A bag of peaches you forgot you bought several weeks ago. Trust me on this one.

5) A litter of cute fluffy kittens...fluffy with mold, that is.

6) The stool sample you were supposed to take to the doctor's office...last week.

7) That missing human limb you heard about on the news.