1) Your girlfriend is pregnant and you swear it's not yours.

2) It's discovered that there are only 1 ½ scoops of raisins in Raisin Bran.

3) The Yankees don't make the playoffs.

4) It's discovered that the rising cost of fuel is part of an elaborate MTV Punk'd episode.

5) Rosie O'Donnell stops being gay and marries Leonardo DiCaprio.

6) After the U.S. pulls out from Iraq the President asks their Prime Minister, "How was it?" to which the Prime Minister responds "We've had better."

7) A new public service announcement (PSA) is released that cashes in on the success of the classic "Your brain on drugs" commercials. The new PSA shows a mischievous youth blowing up cars and the tagline "This is your kid on radical Islam."