1) It's not gay if you pay for it, then it's just business.

2) It's not gay if you're really, really sad.

3) It's not gay if he really does believe he's a woman.

4) It's not gay if you're a well-known homophobic right wing conservative fundamentalist preacher.

5) It's not gay if when you're crying about it later in your mother's arms she tells you, "Shh, honey. It's OK. It's not gay if I say it's not."

6) It's not gay if the priest absolves and blesses you as he hands you a tissue.

7) It's not gay if it's you, your dad, and your brother. Then it's just fucked up.