1) Knowing that any discomfort I may have had using the bathroom in front of someone has now all but disappeared. - Once the child comes along, they realize they cannot live without you for that two minutes you're in the loo. Don't ever try to close the door. Just go when you can.

2) Developing skills that MacGyver would envy. - Children don't always understand what it means when something breaks. This is especially true of their "favorite" toy which is always the one that breaks in the first place. Sometimes a twist-tie, bit of string and some bubble gum can fix anything. The twist-tie to hold the broken parts together, the string to attach and lower the toy into the deep abyss that has become your purse so you can actually find it again, and the gum to keep the kid's mouth busy and stifle the whining.

3) Figuring out that there is no such thing as "baby-proof." - Sometimes when you see the permanent marker etched across your freshly painted walls and you know that marker was in a latched drawer, or the lotion you had locked underneath your bathroom sink squirted all over your carpet -- you just have to laugh. Not because it's funny, but because to do anything else at that moment could trigger an intervention from your loved ones.

4) Learning how to multi-task. - This isn't like having a job where you are typing and talking on the phone at the same time. We're talking Olympic worthy multi-tasking: hold a baby, cook three different dinners (because your child doesn't like what you've already cooked and you're trying to lose the baby weight so you've already made yourself something different), answer the phone at the same time as you're seeing who just knocked on the front door while moving the dog out of the way with your foot and disciplining the other child on the way. THAT'S motherly multi-tasking.

5) Laundry. - Loads and loads and loads. I love the fact that between my daughters, my husband and I there are about four loads of laundry a week. I also love having to use my sixth sense to track down each individual piece of laundry that has found its way into places they should never be... the diaper pail, the dog food container, the bathtub, under the bed, on the bookshelf or the pair of underwear I once found inside a kitchen cabinet.

6) Developing an overly acute sense of hearing. - Perhaps to compensate for the massive loss of memory cells in mother's brains during pregnancy, the sense of hearing begins to sharpen to superhero strength. I can remember once waking my husband in the middle of the night because the drip from our kitchen sink (which was on the lower level and opposite end of the house) was keeping me awake. Once the baby is born, this amazing gift quickly becomes the bane of your existence. Forget ever getting another good night's sleep ever again. Every time the child makes the slightest noise, you startle to full wakefulness. This sense also comes in handy for your toddler's constant and repetitive vocal renditions of such musical favorites as "It's a Small World" and "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas."

7) Being a mom. - All joking aside, the moment my eyes first beheld both of my beautiful daughters I could not contain the joy that filled my entire being. It was the culmination of every emotion into that one moment of my life. Watching them grow, seeing their tiny fingers tightly wrap around just one of yours, waiting for that first smile to light their face when they see you, hearing the first time they say "mama" or being there as they take their first step. The first time they tell you they love you it can just about break your heart. For every tiny challenge, every moment I've thought it too difficult or too much... the happiness that children bring into my life is beyond compare. The way I see it, I have plenty of stories to torture them with when they get older. In the meantime, I'll just do my best to smile and take it all in stride. What else can we do without getting committed or arrested?