1) Reconstructive and Cosmetic Vaginal Procedures. - First of all, I'm not sure why I need a cosmetic or reconstructive procedure on my vagina, but the ad informs me that it will enhance my sex life and restore my self esteem. As a very eligible bachelor I must admit that their promises to improve my sex life and self esteem have got me intrigued. What really sells me on their service though, is their name - The Aussie Makeover, with the slogan "Enhancing Your Downunder." Brilliant.

2) Dream Dental. - The ad for this dental office states that they sedate their patients before treating them. What's really perplexing about this ad though is their claim of "More than 4,988 sedation patients treated." Really, couldn't they have found another 12 people to treat and made it an even 5,000? Odd, to say the least.

3) Eliminate Your Period In Just Minutes. - Their slogan is priceless, "Stop the flo...period." I'm not sure if it gets any better than that (coincidentally, their website is stopflo.com).

4) Airport Parking. - I have no issue with the fact that offsite airport parking isn't a typical ad you see flying around. That's cool. What I don't understand is their message "Not going to fly, but still want to travel? Rent a luxury motorhome." I understand that flying and driving are both forms of travel, but what does airport parking have to do with renting a motorhome?

5) Hemorrhoid Treatment Center. - I love this one's slogan, "A problem worth solving." I guess the problem would be an enlarged blood vessel within my anal canal (the ad has a cool diagram showing an internal hemorrhoid and detailed description of what it is), and unlike Social Security or healthcare I do agree that this problem is worth solving.

6) Garage Door Repairs. - It may not seem like a strange ad, but get this, I don't have a garage. "Sure," you say, "but that ad is intended for people that do have garage doors." Good point, except for one thing: I DON'T HAVE A GARAGE DOOR!

7) Laser Hemorrhoid Center - Again with the hemorrhoids? You'd think we're having a hemorrhoid epidemic where I live. The company behind this one is named Laser Hemorrhoid Center and, honestly, is there anything more comforting than having someone use a laser in your rectum? I thought not.