1) Always pursue your dreams even though you will achieve none of them.

2) Your miniscule abilities will take you to unremarkable places.

3) A large pack of dogs will corner you in an alley and rape your skull.

4) Your future is bleak and your ass is getting huge.

5) You have a revolting soul and your wife gave me good head.

6) Your friends admire how you can function with such limited intelligence.

7) The newfound warmth that you feel is from a scorching case of herpes.