1) It's not cheating if she's a tiger in the sack.

2) It's not cheating if your friend double dog dares you to do it.

3) It's not cheating if she's really unattractive.

4) It's not cheating if she's Pamela Anderson.

5) It's not cheating if you do it in a different zip code.

6) It's not cheating if you do it on your birthday.

7) It's not cheating if you get an STD from it.