1) It's not cheating if you're really good at it.

2) It's not cheating if it's bestiality.

3) It's not cheating if your name is Kobe and you buy your wife a really phat diamond ring afterward.

4) It's not cheating if you're doing it to get a raise.

5) It's not cheating if your secretary is really hot.

6) It's not cheating if you don't cum.

7) It's not cheating if you're really drunk.