1) Bros before hos. - This is a common saying used by men. It's meant to inform your friends that your male friends are more important than their girlfriend. The problem? While most guys use this saying, it's understood that we all become a little crazy when it comes to the fairer sex, and old friends are quickly forgotten (until the eventual break-up when you go running back to your friends and have to put up with their "I told you so's").

2) Knock on wood. - This one is prevalent as some sort of good luck charm. I have no idea what it's supposed to mean, and why knocking on wood would bring any sort of good luck (although it may bring a sore knuckle or two).

3) Kiss and make up. - I'm a firm believer that most quarrels are stupid and shouldn't hinder a friendship, but what in the world does kissing have to do with it? I'd much prefer "handshake and make up," unless the kissing is with someone really cute.

4) If you love me you will... - This one is usually followed by "wash the car" or "go shopping with me." Whatever it's followed by, it puts you in a predicament - do you do what the person is asking and in so doing "prove your love" or do you just blow it off? I'll tell you one thing, if I hear someone say it again I'm going to respond with "If you love me you won't use this stupid way of asking me to do something."

5) You'll ruin your appetite. - Almost every parent or grandparent has told this to their kids as a way of preventing them from spoiling their appetite for dinner. I believe Jerry Seinfeld said it best when he proclaimed that he sometimes ruins his appetite just for the heck of it because it's not like it's going to be the last one he has. We're going to have thousands of appetites in our lives, why should we care about one little one?

6) If I were any better I'd be a twin. - I don't think this one is too common, but I have heard it many times. Most people use it after being asked "How are you doing?" I must ask, why does being a twin make you feel so much better? Are twins known to be the happiest people on earth or something? I don't get it, and the saying is stupid.

7) They always screw you at the drive-thru. - Ok, this one is somewhat true, but I'm adding it because I've come to find out that the drive-thru isn't the only place where you get screwed. That's right, this is for you Taco Bell and your lack of ability to understand that "no tomatoes" actually means that I don't want tomatoes.

I've got a new idea for a fast food promotion though - If they screw up part of your order you get to throw that item at them. It'd be fun for the customers and make sure that the level of service improves; because, really, who wants a grilled stuffed burrito flying at 40 mph toward their face?