1) What really attracts a man to a woman?
Asked by Michelle R. from Warren, MI

This depends if you are referring to the initial visceral attraction. A great man once said "Eyes are the passageway to the soul," and an addled frat boy once said "Dude, check out the sweater kittens on that bitch!" Prose of that lot shows the immense diversity in the male perspective. Does it help if you have a great rack? Yes, it does (especially for me). But let's stay on topic.

Here's the fact: Guys across every culture and age range are most powerfully attracted to a woman with a 70% ratio from the waist to hips. That means that your waist size is 70% of your hips. (Women by the way, prefer a 90% ratio on guys.) Perhaps it's encoded in our D.N.A, but men cannot resist this equation. One theory proposed is that these dimensions represent a woman who is healthy and capable of giving birth, but then again, most gents just want to screw, so I think this hypothesis falls apart quickly.

If you're curious on checking your personal size,

Step 1) Grab some measuring tape.

Step 2) Make sure it is level around the body, parallel to the floor, and tighten it without depressing the skin.

Step 3) Measure the waist at its narrowest point width-wise (usually just above the belly button).

Step 4) Measure the hips around the widest part of the hip bones.

Step 5) Now divide the waist measurement by the hip measurement.

Step 6) Check the measurement..... and then go cry in front of the mirror!

2) Why are most straight men completely turned on when two women kiss, yet the thought of two men kissing is repulsive to them?
Asked by Donna H from Cleveland, OH

First off, even though I'm heterosexual, I'm down with gay culture. I fully support (and vote for) gay marriage and gay adoption. I know the Bible calls it a "sin," but I also know that God loves all his children (especially me).

That being said, I feel physically disgusted seeing two men kiss, yet Brokeback Mountain was my vote for the best film of 2005. The love story was so pure and genuine that you really did forget that it was two men until they started macking....and humping.....and grunting.

My best guess is that most men feel revolted because we've been taught by various sources that this is "wrong." As stated, I wholeheartedly disagree with that theory. In also should be noted that homosexuality occurs frequently in the animal kingdom. One of our closest genetic links, the Bonobo monkey is fully bisexual. Both the girls and the boy monkeys engage in frequent gay nookie (lesbianism actually occurs more. No, I don't know why...go ask them). These monkeys are also known to greet each other with sex (I know what animal I want to be reincarnated as). Also loving some gay action are sheep, bottle-nose dolphins, spotted hyenas, and even penguins ("Happy Feet" indeed).

I also have a theory on "girl on girl" porn. I believe most men have some degree of "larger phallus fear." They enjoy "lesbian love" because it's everything they like (hot girls having sex) without the stuff they don't like (a guy who makes their dick look like a light switch).

3) Why do men get so upset if their spouse makes more money than they do?
Asked by Janet R. in Irvine, CA

Those are some really backward-thinking men. Who gives a damn if your chick brings in more bank? I mean, really? I would hate it if she could best me in pool, basketball, or out bench me (in fact, I would slit my wrists if she did due to the fact that she would have to be a Samoan chick on steroids). But out-earn me? Big deal! Life is short, true love lasts forever, and I'm not going to look back on my life at 80 and think "Boy, Candi and I had a kick ass marriage. She's been an outstanding mother, best friend, and absolute animal in the sack. But dammit, that whore out-earned me!"

On that note, if there are any young, hot, and rich ladies out there who want to support me (and by that I mean you go to work and I'll be the "stay at home dad") I am SO very available. I would dig sitting my pampered ass at home while watching "Maury," after my hands got too sore from playing my 47th game in a row of NBA 2K8 on the Xbox 360 which would be displayed in vivid brilliance on my 75' HDTV.

4) Why are a lot of men so disgusted with a woman's menstrual cycle? Every female men encounter has to go through this cycle, yet men always seem uncomfortable. Also, why are men so uncomfortable getting tampons from the store? They are obviously not for you.
Asked by Bonnie M. in Julian, CA

I've never had this problem. I've enjoyed buying my girlfriends tampons. In fact, just tampons at the counter and nothing else (I'm not going to hide it with a pack of gum and a copy of Men's Health). Why you ask? Because instead of being embarrassed myself, I get to watch the clerk squirm instead. This sort of "embarrassment transference" works quite well with condom purchases, hemorrhoid cream, and Hillary Duff CDs.

Dudes who feel this awkwardness most likely have a correlation with the perception of the vagina being an unclean vessel. (There are also men who think WWE wrestling is real. That's right, Lemon Springs, North Carolina, I'm calling you out!) As you stated, the female cycle is nothing to be feared and helps prepare her body for life's most special gift: children.

5) A lot of women are very accepting of a woman dating an older man, but frown upon a woman dating a younger man. Do men share these same views?
Asked by Ericka M. in Augusta, NJ

Women are such complex creatures. I adore their inner machinations as much as I cherish their comeliness. What's hilarious about this question is that while it's a valid query, you give men far too much credit. We have no time to ponder another guys conquest because we're way too busy worrying about our own. We frown about stuff like missing our jump shots, not getting promotions, being limp in the sack, but not about some cougar chasing a young dude...unless of course we think we can score that babe instead.