Dear Gay Guy,
I have met this guy. We have been dating for a month and we haven't had sex yet. How can I down him in the sack?
In need of strategies in CA

Love,
Is he a virgin? Here's what always works for me, prepare a beautiful three course meal for him with white wine and lots of oysters! After dinner pop on a porno and try to jump him. If he resists show him the door!

Dear Gay Guy,
One of my best mates is a "Pony boy." He WANTS to be tethered to things and has a special saddle made to fit him so that his partner can ride him around with the bit and all. On fine nights he likes to be occasionally tethered naked in the back yard with a horsey-ish blanket - I'M SERIOUS!! He claims it's just a mere sexual fetish of his. I have inquired into this "Pony club" thing and it's quite a BIG thing or common thing around the world.

My problem is that as this is one of my best friends, who seems very normal in every other respect, can I trust his judgment on life issues and advice he gives me (as best friends do) or is he off with the fairies completely in which case I'll just bet on him in the next Calder Cup? I'm having trouble when he gets serious with me and offers advice on my problems.
Regards, Horse whipped in VA

Horse whipped Darling!
Is he hung like a horse as well? If he is, insert phone number here____________________
Sweetheart, different strokes for different folks! Buy him a riding crop and wish him all the best in this Calder Cup!

Dear Gay Guy,
I am so confused, I have too many fuck buddies that I really like but have decided to settle but I still want to be able to sleep with my buddies as well, now what?
Randy in AZ

Petal,
Time to face the facts. You're a slut. Not that anything's wrong with that, but the one that you're deciding to settle with should know what they are getting themselves into!
Happy Humping!!!!

Dear Gay Guy,
I don't know what's come over me lately, but I've been completely on heat!
Just stick a cute guy with a pulse in front of me and watch the sparks fly!
What can I do to settle down? Should I stir bromide into my tea?
Hornily yours, and on edge in Sacramento CA

Honey bunny,
Yes, bromide is a fabulous idea! Cold showers are good too, and I have heard that giving it a hit with a cold spoon can sometimes have a good effect.
Bottom line is, nothing like an STD to stop you in your tracks!