1) It's not gay if the llama doesn't complain.

2) It's not gay if one of you is asleep.

3) It's not gay if it happens on Brokeback Mountain.

4) It's not gay if you have aids.

5) It's not gay if you're bored.

6) It's not gay if you do it with another guy because you're really horny.

7) It's not gay if you do it on a Tuesday.