1) It's not gay if you lick it like a lollipop.

2) It's not gay if your eyes are closed.

3) It's not gay if your "member" is under 3 inches.

4) It's not gay if you're a midget.

5) It's not gay if it's bestiality.

6) It's not gay if you get paid for it.

7) It's not gay if you're shooting blanks.