1) She tells you that you remind her of her brother/father.

2) She spends...

1) Because she loves a man who uses the word "lumps" to refer to...

1) Birthday Card - That's right, an actual birthday card. Instead of including a gift card with your birthday card, the birthday card will serve dual purposes.

2) Tie...

1) Dammit! My hands are totally infected again. You didn't, like, touch the doorknob when you came in, did you?...

1) So this is the kitchen, bathroom down the hall, that's my mom's room and here's mine!

2) How do you feel about...

1) I base my affection solely on your salary.

2) I've come to accept...

1) It's not gay if it happens in a Vietnamese prison.

2) It's not gay if you can't...

1) It's not gay if it's with a 1960's terrorist.

2) It's not gay if it's with a...

1) It's not gay if he's wearing women's panties.

2) It's not gay if you're in a...

First off, I'm angry at you. Yes, you. Don't turn your head and act like you weren't part of the problem. You're the very reason I fought every instinct I had and wasted 2 hours of my life on this cinematic afterbirth masquerading as...